Grounded in New Mexico

So my journey to New Mexico has proved to be a fruitfull one. I rendezvoused with my dear friends Ryan & Felicja (of Williams Island Farm in Chattanooga, TN) in Santa Fe about 2 weeks ago. They had both been in California for the winter, and were headed back towards the Island for the 2009 growing season. Felicja was born & raised in Santa Fe, so it was nice to be introduced to Santa Fe & various parts of northern New Mexico with such grace and fluidity.

We spent a few days in the Santa Fe area hanging low, and then ventured to Felicja's brothers' farm in Las Trampas, NM, between Taos and Santa Fe.

And what an amazing place it is!

Felicja's bros Teague & Kosma started the farm about 6 years ago, and it has been thriving ever since. When Teague graduated from Tufts University and Kosma from highschool, they both decided they wanted to connect with the land and provide their hometown with local produce. So they decided that the best way to do so would be to dive right into the dirt & start their own project. They lease the land from a friend of theirs in the moutains of northern New Mexico, right on the border of the Pecos Wilderness. The 7 acre farm sits at about 7500 feet, so it stays snowy about 6 months out of the year. They tell me that the Trampas area has been known to receive snow in the middle of June, so the microclimate is specific to say the least. They discoverd very early on that root veggies like carrots, beets, parsnips, and potatoes thrive wonderfully with the warm days & cold nights, so they are certainly a mainstay on the farm. But they also have green houses for warmer climate crops like tomatoes & peppers, and for winter greens. Even now we are enjoying fresh arrugla salads, as well as kale and cilantro.

Teague, Kosma, and their recent farm cohort Brett welcomed us warmly into their adobe home. After spending a few days there playing music, eating out of the root cellar,working with the goats, and taking the donkeys for rides into the mountains, we had a sweat lodge ceremony to commemorate the full moon and bring us all closer together.

The sweat lodge tradition has been handed down from Native American cultures like the Lakota people as a purification ritual. Teague, Kosma, and Felicja had been introduced to the practice at a young age through their father, an avid collector and dealer of Native American art & active supporter of various Native American organizations. The quickest way to describe the sweat lodge would be to imagine the combination of a fast, a sauna, and thanksgiving (Though I don't believe such a description does the experience much justice, nor does it capture its transformative force).

The lodge is basically a structure made out of Willow saplings that are bent into a dome-like shape and covered with blankets. It represents both the body of a turtle (with the head being a small alter in front of the door), the womb, and Mother Earth herself. Igneous rocks are heated in a fire pit outside the lodge, and then placed inside for the duration of the ceremony. Particpants enter from the left and move inside the lodge clockwise or sunwise, being sure to respect the natural movement of celestial bodies. Once everyone is inside, water is poured over the rocks to generate steam, and the sweat begins. Then everyone expresses their thoughts, hopes, feelings, and especially their gratitude for life and the abundance of the Earth throughout four different sweat rounds. After each round the door is opened to allow everyone a chance to cool down. In some rounds the focus is more on giving thanks, while in others the focus is more on singing or free expression. It is definitely a very powerful way to release toxins from the body, purge the mind, connect with each other, and reconfirm one's beliefs and purpose.

After the lodge is over everyone jumps in the icy waters of an adjacent creek, much like is done after a sauna or a steam. In this way it really does feel like emerging from a womb. You come out sweaty and disoriented, and then are plunged into a rather unfamiliar, uncomfortable place! It is quite amazing, however, how much the icey waters warm the body after a few moments. I enjoyed my dip so much, in fact, that I have made it a daily practice every since the lodge. I still haven't overcome the utter ridiculousness of observing myself break through the ice with a shovel and then choosing consciously, without anyone asking me or paying me, to completely submerge myself in the freezing cold water. And I still jump out of the water laughing hysterically, mumbling gibberish while stumbling through the snow wrapped in a towell. But I never do regret it! I just can't imagine a better way to wake up and embrace the elements as the sun is just beginning to peak over the mountains.

So anyhow, the sweat lodge is quite a great ritual, and will fortunately be performed every New and Full Moon. As far as other daily activities go, I have been waking up early for creek dips and stretching/various exercises. I generally fire up the wood stove as soon as I arise, throw on a kettle of water, and brew a pot of red clover, alfalfa, and mint tea. Then a nice breakfast of oats & apples, homemade sourdough and fruit preserves, squash pie, or perhaps the remnants of a hearty soup from the night before is enjoyed by one and all. Afterwards we do whatever work we can, such as feeding the animals, watering the greenhouses, or preparing meals. I am currently working on the restoration of an old wagon as a personal project. But as a group we are never short of things to enjoy in these slow winter months. Kosma and I have been playing lots of chess. I have been riding up into the mountains on the donkeys with Teague as much as I can. And we all enjoy playing music together, cooking and eating meals, and any other community-type events that bring us closer together. I have had plenty of time to read, send letters, and practice carving. I just finished my first spoon not two days ago! And I plan to learn as much I can of the drum making trade from Kosma, who learned to carve and cover drums during a trip to Guatemala. So many great things to learn and be a part of. The opportunities for growth are endless!

Just last week Kosma and I hiked upstream to do a little winter fishing. We weren't very sure we could hook anything in the February cold, but after about 3 minutes of light casting, and with only 1 worm, we caught three beautiful fish! Mine is the mighty 9 incher. We came out of the mountains with smiles on our faces and threw the fish right into the iron skillet with a little bit of olive oil. They sure were delicious, and we made sure to thank them for providing us with some much needed winter nourishment.

So Ryan and Felicja have already made their way back to Williams Island, and Kosma and Teague welcomed me to stay on the farm until my journies take me elsewhere. My plan right now is to stay here until at least May, at which time I hope to do a Permaculture Design Course in Bolinas, California. But I may perhaps extend my time in Las Trampas if I'm invited to do so. After all, I couldn't possibly ask for more here, being right on the border of the Pecos Wilderness, having plenty of delicious & nutritious food and amazing animals, and an energetic company of skilled, creative people with abundant love for everything they do. What a blessing it is to be grounded in New Mexico.

Love & Gratitude

About two weeks ago my wonderful mother gave me the the book, "The Hidden Messages in Water," by Masaru Emoto.

The basic premise of the book involves Japanese scientist Emoto's experiments with exposing water to certain external stimuli, such as music or pictures, freezing the water, and then photographing the resulting images. Emoto is always sure to take before and after photos, often times with some surprising results.

After years of research, Emoto believes very deeply that the fundamental structures of water can be and are indeed effected by anything from music, to vocalized & written words, to pictures, to thoughts--to really any sort of external influence or stimulus. Emoto has found that speaking words like "love and gratitude" with sincerity results in intricately formed crystals of astounding beauty, while saying things like "you fool" to water results in damaged, hazy crystals. Furthermore, Emoto writes emphatically about the necessity of expressing this love & gratitude to everything, especially human beings, as we are made up of 70% water ourselves. If unkind words forms damaged crystals in the fundamental structures of water, what could they do to our own cellular structures or psychological constitution?

It seems to me a very worthy question indeed. And an empowering one at that. Could simply feeling or thinking love and gratitude towards a glass of water improve its quality or vitality as one guzzles it down? If anything, one would surely enjoy every sip with that sort of awareness in mind during a glorious guzzling session.

One thing I've realized lately is this: if what Emoto says is true, how could I possibly integrate such a philosophy into my own life? After all, I have been drinking and cooking and swimming in water my whole life without much notion of the effect my own thoughts and feelings have whilst interacting with the liquid goodness that is H2O. So how could I create a lasting impression in my own state of being that actually shifts the way I interact with water or anything else on a day to day basis? Welp, Emoto assures the reader that it is becoming more and more possible everyday to carry out these water crystal experiments in a cost effective manner. And if I were the type to utilize micro-observational technology and all sorts of other scientific gizmos and gadgets, I might just give it a try. But this is not my way. Fortunately, Emoto supplies any even easier, more accessible, and possibly more poignant means of proving to oneself the impact of our own thoughts and feelings.

Emoto recommends taking a look up in the sky from time to time for a little cloud observation. But instead of simply appreciating the shapes and forms of these nomadic sky creatures, try a little experiment. Focus on a cloud, and really direct your attention at its shape and size, taking in all the details. Then, with all your imagination and and feeling, pretend that the cloud is slowly beginning to dissolve. It might be better to start with a small, loner cloud, and then work towards a massive cloud city. Anyhow, continue to focus on the cloud, imagining that it's slowly dissolving. Really focus your attention on it with deep concentration, but don't strain. Just enjoy the experience. After a little while, say or think something to the effect of "thank you for having dissolved," and continue to imagine that the cloud is dissipating. Keep this up until it melts away, and you have just provided yourself with an amazing first hand experience of the power that our own thoughts and feelings have on our reality. In this case, on clouds, which are very subtle amalgamations of H2O, no?

My brother Hunter and I were bouldering in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains in El Dorado Springs, Colorado some two weeks ago. When we reached the top of the foothill we could see both Denver and Boulder, as well as the tiny town of El Dorado Springs. The sun was shining warm and bright, and the sky was almost completely clear but for a few clouds. We had both just finished Emoto's book, so we were curious to see if what is he said about the clouds was true. So we did just as Emoto said...

And what were our results, you may wonder? Well, I wouldn't be writing about a failed experiment(s), would I? If you find the find the idea hard to believe, I surely do not blame you. All we could do was look at each other & laugh in disbelief, both for the first cloud and the second cloud. Even looking back on it now seems more like a dream than something that actually happened in this world, in this reality of mine (& ours).

But don't take my word for it! Go on and give it a try! And bring a few friends along as well to multiply the effect. The more imagination the better, right? It might not even be a bad idea to read Emoto's book beforehand. In this way, one can be theoretically prepared for the experience. And if the experiment is successful, perhaps drinking a glass of water will never be the same again? I can say for myself that I much more inclined to feel love and gratitude for every sip I take. Mmmmmmm water.

Practical Intutition

An interesting happening, as of late.

Yesterday, after ransacking my uncle Michael's bookshelves a second time, looking for knowledge to consume, I came across a book called "Practical Intuition," by Laura Day. The book is all about connecting to your instinct, your inner voice, your cosmic Jiminy Cricket, if you will, and apply it in every day life. It looks like and essentially is a self-help book. Which I will admit I have a distaste for, though I'm not sure why. I'm all about helping myself. I'm my best friend, doctor, psychologist, interpreter, personal trainer, etc. If I need something done in my life, I'm the best person to do it, right? Welp, it makes sense to me at least. So why should I be so turned off by a self-help book? Really, this is immaterial to the posting. I'm simply relating my initial hesitation as a leafed through the paper-back pages.

One of the first exercises in the book was simply to answer the following associative questions immediately, without any thought or analysis. Here are the words and my associations:

1. A man's name: John
2. A woman's name: Karen
3. The name of an animal: Panda
4. The name of a river: Ganges
5. A location: Purgatory
6. A length of time: 10 days
7. A food: Avocado
8. A color: Green
9. A weapon: Machete
10. A cure or remedy: Herbal
11. A wish: Love
12. A fear: Darkness

After completing this exercise, I flipped the page and was told that I had just performed my first intuitive exercise, and the question I was intuiting for was "How will my life be different one year from now?"

"Great," I thought. "Purgatory, machetes, darkness... Can't wait for all these things to enter my life!"

So I continued reading a little while longer, and eventually got bored with the book. I felt ideas building up in me and I was becoming mentally congested, really psychologically heavy and weary. I knew that if I persisted with the book, there was going to be a headache, nap, or book burning. As I walked to put the book back on the shelf, a voice inside my cried: "Nooooo!"

"Quiet Jiminy," I responded, and put the book back in its proper place.

Later that evening I was on craigslist searching through the "rideshare" section of the Denver, Colorado page. I had already secured a ride to Sante Fe, NM with a very nice herbalist lady named Lisa, but we were scheduled to leave on Friday, and I was much too eager to wait that long. I came across a posting someone made about driving from Denver to Arizona, taking I-25 and then cutting across on I-40. "Perfect! Right through Santa Fe," I thought. So I called the number that was listed, and another very nice sounding lady answered. She asked me all sorts of questions about what I was doing, how long I had been farming, where I had gone to school, and so on. It was quite an interview, I must say.

In the middle of the conversation I began to wonder whether or not I should just stick with Lisa, the herbalist. Not that the mystery lady was annoying, or rude, or anything negative at all. I just had the doubt creep into my mind. In the end, we decided to leave either Wednesday night or Thursday early morning.

"Okay," I thought. "I'm sure it will be fine, I would like to leave early so this is the best option."

As we were saying our goodbyes, I realized that she hadn't even told me her name. "Oh, pardon me, what was your name again? I don't seem to remember you telling me..."

"Oh, I beg your pardon, Karen, my name is Karen." (see list above).

I immediately smacked my forehead, "Ah-hah!" After explaining the intuitive association exercise, we had a good laugh, followed by good feelings. I felt comfortable that I was making the right decision, and she seemed to resonate the same state of mind. She also mentioned that her father's name is John. Of course, I had just talked to my good friend Jon Lowell the day before, so I'm not sure about that one. But Karen? Could this merely have been a coincidence? I have no Karens in my life to speak of!

I guess it doesn't really matter one way or the other. Coincidence, intuition, what's the difference anyways? It seems that coincidence implies random chance, while intuition implies some sort of deeper connection or meaning. Of course, come to think of it, "coincidences" make me feel just as good as this experience did, which Mrs. Laura Day was telling me was my intution. So for all practical purposes, whether I am calling an experience the result of random chance or a deeper connection, the end is the same. Comfort, good feelings, & the perception that I'm making a sound decision.

Needless to say, I went back to the bookshelf and grabbed the self-help book. And Jiminy Cricket thanked me.

Context & Intentions

First of all, I want to go ahead and apologize for the lofty title, "Postmodern Tao." Rest assured that I will explain what I mean by this moniker in the coming paragraphs. Also, I feel the length of this post is rather excessive. Don't worry! Much of this posting can be skimmed over, and again, I can assure you that future posts will be fiery comets of brevity, radiating simplicity and experience with an economy of words. This one just needed a little more length to set the stage for future content.

Right now I am in El Dorado Springs, CO, sitting quietly at my uncle's house at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. My uncle Michael is with his girlfriend in Ohio. They were so kind as to let me stay here until I find a ride down to New Mexico.

Anyhow, when I arrived here with my brother Hunter, my first order of business was to raid the bookshelf. I came across a pocket copy of the Tao Te Ching, and knew that I would be in for a treat. I had read excerpts from the book before, but never the work in its entirety. "Ah at last," I thought. "I've been meaning to give this my steady attention for some time."

I must say, it proved to be a valuable read for me and where I am in life right now. I have encountered so much of the wisdom (or lack there of) of the Tao Te Ching elsewhere. But I can't recall ever reading so many succinct jewels collected into one little book. The work raised and addressed many questions about my role in the world today, and the multitudinous paradoxes I encounter by virtue of the times: namely, the trouble of coming from a place of love and balance amidst the very real possibilities of ecological, economical, social, and political collapse; and the difficulty of knowing when to do and when not to do, when to perform action and when to sit back and wait, when to solve problems and when to feel and listen and be.

If you aren't familiar with the Tao Te Ching, here are a few passages that will help us to understand just what this Tao is or isn't, and how it applies to the aforesaid paradoxes. You needn't read them all, though I personally couldn't put the book down once I began. The book was written by a Chinese sage, Lao-tzu, roughly 1500 years ago. It is simply his wisdom (or Universal wisdom, perhaps) of the world around him, collected into short poems.
If you are already very familiar with the book, feel free to skim through the passages, or skip to the bottom of this post.

Chapter 1

The tao that can be told
is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named
is not the eternal Name.

The unnamable is the eternally real.
Naming is the origin
of all particular things.

Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

Yet mystery and manifestations
arise from the same source.
This source is called darkness.

Darkness within darkness.
The gateway to all understanding.

----

Chapter 2

When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

----

Chapter 6

The Tao is called the Great Mother:
empty yet inexhaustible,
it gives birth to infinite worlds.

It is always present within you.
You can use it any way you want.

----

Chapter 12

Colors blind the eye.
Sounds deafen the ear.
Flavors numb the taste.
Thoughts weaken the mind.
Desires wither the heart.

The Master observes the world
but trusts his inner vision.
He allows things to come and go.
His heart is as open as the sky.

----

Chapter 29

Do you want to improve the world?
I don't think it can be done.

The world is sacred.
It can't be improved.
If you tamper with it, you'll ruin it.
If you treat it like an object, you'll lose it.

There is a time for being ahead,
a time for being behind;
a time for being motion,
a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous,
a time for being exhausted;
a time for being safe,
a time for being in danger.

The Master sees things as they are,
without trying to control them.
She lets them go their own way,
and resides at the center of the circle.

----

Chapter 32

The Tao can't be perceived.
Smaller than an electron,
it contains uncountable galaxies.

If powerful men and women
could remain centered in the Tao,
all things would be in harmony.
The world would become a paradise.
All people would be at peace,
and the law would be written in their hearts.

When you have names and forms,
know that they are provisional.
When you have institutions,
know where their functions should end.
Knowing when to stop,
you can avoid any danger.

All things end in the Tao
as rivers flow into the sea.

----

Chapter 48

In the pursuit of knowledge,
every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao,
everyday something is dropped.
Less and less do you need to force things,
until finally you arrive at non-action.
When nothing is done,
nothing is left undone.

True mastery can be gained
by letting things go their own way.
It can't be gained by interfering.

----

Chapter 53

The great Way is easy,
yet people prefer the side paths.
Be aware when things are out of balance.
Stay centered within the Tao.

When rich speculators prosper
while farmers lose their land;
when government officials spend money
on weapons instead of cures;
when the upper class is extravagant and
irresponsible
while the poor have nowhere to turn--
all this is robbery and chaos.
It is not in keeping with the Tao.

----

Chapter 71

Not-knowing is true knowledge.
Presuming to know is a disease.
First realize that you are sick;
then you can move toward health.

The Master is her own physician.
She has healed herself of all knowing.
Thus she is truly whole

----

Chapter 74

If you realize that all things change,
there is nothing you will try to hold on to.
If you aren't afraid of dying,
there is nothing you can't achieve.

Trying to control the future
is like trying to take the master carpenter's place.
When you handle the master carpenter's tools,
chances are you'll cut your hand.

----

Chapter 78

Nothing in the world
is as soft and yielding as water.
Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible,
nothing can surpass it.

The soft overcomes the hard;
the gentle overcomes the rigid.
Everyone knows this is true,
but few can put it into practice.

Therefore the Master remains
serene in the midst of sorrow.
Evil cannot enter his heart.
Because he has given up helping,
he is people's greatest help.

True words seem paradoxical.

-------------

OK, great. So I hope I picked enough relevant excerpts for us to obtain a feel for this Tao. For me, reading through the book was at times an emotional rollar coaster. On the one hand I felt every passage resonating deep within me. On the other hand, however, I am at a loss for how to integrate these passages into my life in the postmodern world. How can I bring about peace without doing? How can I be content with things as they are, when famine, obesity, disease, and misery abound? How can I sit back and wait for the right action to present itself, when every day the Earth and all her inhabitants are closer to collective disaster? And more than anything, how can I know when the right action has presented itself? How can I know when the time for waiting and inaction has passed, and motion and action are needed?

Reading through the Tao Te Ching brought all of these things to the forefront of my consciousness. Things I had already been thinking about quite a bit, especially in my relation to friends, family, money, this nation, humanity, the Earth, the Universe, & God, or Allah, or the Tao, or whatever we want to call this elusive albeit Ultimate Truth.

At any rate... Before I go any further, I want to make clear that at no point in this blog will I discuss postmodernism. It started as an architectural movement that was responding to modernist philosophies and aesthetics, and has now taken on so many different meanings and characteristics. I was reluctant to use the word to begin with, and will probably replace it when I think of a better title. Many very clever people will no doubt say that culturally, we are well past the so called postmodern era. And that's just fine. I'm not here to create any innovative artistic movements, or wow people with my knowledge of movements past. For the purposes of this blog, postmodernism simple means the times in which we are living now: When globalization abounds; when people are either swimming in abundance or drowning in dearth; when the ecological balance of the Earth hangs by a single thread; and when each individual's consciousness has a profound effect on the transition of all this misery to a point of peace, or the continuance of the downward spiral.

So for me, the title "Postmodern Tao" refers to the emotional roller coaster I experience when I try to address all of the paradoxes between spiritual practice and the realities of the World today; between coming from a place of balance while addressing all the problems that humanity continues to create; between remaining centered while doing what needs to be done to bring about a greater peace for all sentient & cognizant beings; and between waiting, listening, and observing versus movment and action.

Everything I have said thus far is the context. Everything that's happening in the World today; my place in these chaotic times in relation to all beings; the paradoxes and conflicts I encounter when trying to do what I think is ethical, or help others to live more healthy, fulfilling lives. All of these things.

What, then, are my intentions for this blog? Well, to begin, because I am so interested in continuing my education both formally and informally (degrees & certifications vs. self-exploration & discovery, lectures, action-based learning, etc.), I feel I will be living a fairly nomadic lifestyle indefinitely, in both a physical and psychological sense. Physical in that I will be going to different physical locations to gather skills and learn whatever it is I feel called to learn, and psychological in that all these changes of my physical location will no doubt bring me into contact with unfamiliar ideas & ideals the world over. Who knows who or what I will encounter, and how this will change my worldview or the way in which I experience reality.
So my first intention is to chart my physical and psychological progression over the next, well, however long I suppose. Even if I see over time that literally no one is reading it, it will still serve as a powerful tool for me and my ability to fully integrate all the experiences I have into my consciousness. In charting this progression, I will be both journaling & self-psychoanalizing; I will be maintaining a living autobiography, while trying to activate and incorporate everything I learn (practices, skills, ideas, etc.) into my life.

Another intention I have is to address the paradoxes I have spoken of through the symbolic title "Postmodern Tao." Over time I hope to be able to find a balance between my desire to help bring about a more healthy reality in the world, and my desire to remain desireless & unattached to my own actions and the actions of people around me. Is this possible? I don't know. Is it necessary? Well, again, I don't know. But I do know that letting my perceptions rule me, such as the judgement that others are doing this thing wrong or are not doing this right, and this is causing some sort of negative effect for myself, the Earth, and all humanity, is inherently self-defeating. If I let the little things bring me down, I know I will never reach my highest potential as a human being; I will be unable to be of the utmost service that I can possibly be for everyone and everything.

I think one of the last intentions I have for the blog is to create a meaningful dialogue between myself and whoever may be keeping up with my postings. I will still do plenty of emailing, no doubt, but believe that I could learn a lot about myself, the way I think, and the way I experience the world when other people post comments or ask questions. Hopefully I will be able to compare my personal experiences with the experiences other people have had. I feel I will catalyze my own healing, learning, and unlearning process if I receive feedback from other people along the course of my psycho-physical journey.

So, in short, this blog will be serving as

1. A physical & pyschological journal
2. A tool for reconciling the paradoxes of the "Postmodern Tao."
3. A platform for creating intergenerational, interfaith, & intereverything dialogue.

I think it goes without saying that if I feel the need to post something that falls outside of these intentions, I am going to go ahead and do so. More intentions can evolve organically along the way. For now, I hope I have made clear what this blog is about, and I hope you come back and read again. Feel free to leave constructive comments, or anything else you want. If I write something that anyone feels is absurd or offensive, I would appreciate being confronted. Confrontation doesn't have to be negative or competitive. We can discuss things like human beings, and learn a bit about ourselves and each other in the process! Hooray!

In the meantime, this is William, Will, Liam T., or however you know me, going to bed, hoping to wake up for sunrise on top of a Rocky Mountain foothill.