Revisiting the rebirth, part 1.

This is one of those full circle type of posts. A summing up of one of many concentric circles that is crossing over and interweaving with other circles of experience to form the fabric that is my experience and is my reality. Where I look back over the original context and intentions for this blog, flush things out a bit, and supply a series of inspiring "ah-hahs" that help me to integrate whatever I need to integrate from the past 9 months (human gestation period, yes?), and release whatever I need to release.

I feel this 9 month rebirthing period has been the most powerful, accelerated time of growth in my life, so its a bit silly to think I can pin it all down in one concise posting. I just want to touch on a few things really. & I don't have an outline or bulleted points written down beside me, though my structuring, organizing nature feels rather inclined to do such a thing! Perhaps future postings will be guided by such a writing process. For now I will do my best to express whatever needs to be expressed, to let it come up in my field of experience & flow through my fingers, tip-tapping across these plastic Apple keys, with the grace and ease of a well-practiced street performer--juggling this and that, entertaining, working the natural magic that can only emerge in surrender to the unfolding moment. OH please oh please! Give me the strength to surrender.

Wowee! So I just read back over my first post that outlined my context and intentions, and it gave me so many chill bumps! Truly amazing. It relates to so much of my past 9 months of experience, and really brought up a lot for me.

One of my original intentions for the blog was a physical and psychological journal of my travels and experiences. I feel these two things alone will be enough to cover in this posting. To sum up my physical adventures for the past 9 months starting at the beginning of February, I have gone from New Mexico to Arizona, back to New Mexico, back through Arizona to California. I spent Feb-April primarily on Gemini Farm in Los Sangre de Cristo mountains New Mexico; mid-April in Arizona for the native elders gathering and various adventures to the Grand Canyon, Hopi, Yavapai, and Dinai land; May through early July back in New Mexico in the Jemez mountains on my friend Casey's land, the summer solstice Yoga retreat outside of Espanola, and finally the Sante Fe mountains for the Rainbow gathering. Then I was whisked away through Sedona, AZ to Grass Valley/Nevada City/North San Juan, CA, where I have been completely grounded (except for a journey to Mt. Shasta, the Redwoods, the Mendocino Coast, and Lake Tahoe) since mid-July.

So that's a rough outline. Mountains, beaches, desserts. Various trainings and workshops--two weeks of Kundalini yoga teacher training (my final week is at the end of January); an Aromatic Alchemy training (mixing essential oils and blends for medicinal/enjoyable purposes); dozens of yoga and Qigong classes on the side; so many different ceremonies and collective experiences fused with the highest intention; Mauri healers (New Zealand indigenous people), farm work-trades, loads of living food creations from smoothies to Kimchi to sourkraut to chocolate, pies, salads, crackers, fruits, etc. ; adventures to Amma the hugging saint (once in June & again in November), different hot springs, rivers, and my first view of the Pacific; and an intense daily yoga practice that has essentially been the foundation of my experience--giving me a wealth of physical, emotional, & psychological health and vitality for a smooth, enjoyable reality. Yes.

So lots of things, lots of "doings." & that's the physical side, the external experience, so to speak. Now as far as the psychological part, the maintenance and development of my "psyche," this rich & deep collection of beliefs and experiences and all sorts of programmings that directly affect the way I interact with and experience my reality--well that's another story. At this point, a few excerpts from the Tao from my original posting seem appropriate:

Chapter 71

Not-knowing is true knowledge.
Presuming to know is a disease.
First realize that you are sick;
then you can move toward health.

The Master is her own physician.
She has healed herself of all knowing.
Thus she is truly whole

Chapter 48

In the pursuit of knowledge,
every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao,
everyday something is dropped.
Less and less do you need to force things,
until finally you arrive at non-action.
When nothing is done,
nothing is left undone.

True mastery can be gained
by letting things go their own way.
It can't be gained by interfering.

-------

So since February, the "program" I have been acting out, drawing directly from my blog intentions albeit seemingly unconsciously at times, is that of deprogramming. I have been playing out the program of deprogramming, of dropping things every day. Meaning the complete and utter dismantling and destruction of all preconceived concepts, notions, beliefs, expectations (cultural, familial, etc.), and so on. All the different thought forms that come between me and the fullness of my experience as it unfolds before me in raw beauty & glory. Goodbye! Thank you for your service, but I am releasing you. & much love for you!

This essentially means the obliteration of the contents of my subconscious mind, reprogramming with only the most basic, rudimentary blueprints I need for navigating reality as I know it. Here is one of those blueprints I have been using with a whole lot of success--->
---------

Misconception: "Seeing is Believing" (What we perceive determines what we believe.)
The Actuality: "Believing is Seeing" (What we believe determines what we perceive!)

Beliefs-->Perception-->Interpretation-->Emotional Reaction-->Thoughts-->Action-->Beliefs

Beliefs ==> Perception ==> Interpretation ==> Emotional reaction ==> Thoughts ==> Action

1. Your beliefs determine the reality that you perceive. Your beliefs determine your perception of reality.

2. You then immediately, automatically, (and usually unconsciously) interpret your perception of reality.
That is, you (arbitrarily) assign, project, and "superimpose" an interpretation onto your perception of reality.

3. You then emotionally react to your intepretation of that reality.

4. You then have thoughts about this reality.

5. Then, based on your emotions and thoughts, you take action.

6. And then action reinforces the original beliefs and interpretations

This is what I call or what is called the "reality feedback loop." That is, a loop of reality constantly feeding back into itself, reconfirming and justifying beliefs, perceptions, and thus the way our thoughts and emotions are generated and play out within the context of our beliefs. The idea is that when you change the beliefs you shift the whole feedback loop. And my personal experience has confirmed that, yes, indeed, shifting beliefs pretty much changes everything.
------
So I have basically been on a path of deconstructing the subconscious mind in order to reprogram (but mainly just stay free and clear) my beliefs and thus re-create the ways in which I experience life, and the people and places I draw into my life as a reflection of my beliefs and perceptions.

Put another way--->
Every human has a true essence and form that becomes diluted through life traumas, ideologies, expectations, agreements, etc. A childlike essence, a beginner's mind in the Zen tradition. So since February, I have used every method I know of to return to this state of experiencing the world. Clearing of physical, emotional, and psychological traumas, programmings, and so on, whether through dietary cleansing, body work, emotional release, movement and meditation, prayer, affirmation, auto-suggestion, nature time (hikes, swimming in creeks and rivers or anywhere not inundated with modern development), EFT, sound healing, etc. Everything.

In this way, I feel more released from the disease, the dis-ease or sickness of "knowing" or presuming to know, and feel more at ease in the comfort of simply experiencing things as they are with as little judgment or expectation for the way I believe or feel they "should be."

"In the practice of the Tao,
everyday something is dropped.
Less and less do you need to force things,
until finally you arrive at non-action"

Right. Less and less programming, more and more free, clear intelligence to experience a raw, full reality. Pure awareness. More and more wide-eyes like bright beaming headlights, less and less straining to see what I believe is supposed to be there, what should be there because of past conditions or recurring habit patterns/thought forms. More and more head nodding and immediate acceptance, less and less frustration when things that don't go as I believe or expect they should. And I've noticed the more & more I free intelligence up, the easier it becomes to navigate my reality, to do exactly what needs to be done in every situation, no more and no less. To manifest things that I want to see happen, and to surrender to the sychronistic flow of things as they happen, often times well outside of my expectations (Yes! I still have them. I'm doing my best). Yes yes yes. All of it. So: less & less junk programming has equaled more and more free and clear experience which has graced me with less and less headache and more and more enjoyable, simple, every day happenings. Just like magic.

So to some up part 1 of this multi-part revisiting, I just feel good. I feel light. I feel clear. My daily deprogramming has made things work for me. Everything seems to go my way. And when things don't go as I expect I cut through the pain and frustration with a light-saber of awareness and laughter so fast that I've already moved on to the next thing before my psyche has time to hold onto anything. Like magic!

In my next posting, I will go into some of the specifics of how my daily experience has changed, and some powerful tools I have used to navigate the ripples & waves of the all the changes I have gone through, as well as the interactions I have on a day to day basis. Some themes to expect (and just to remind me for my next posting) are communication, especially in reference to intentions, expectations, and agreements; the power of joy, gratitude, and surrender; the shadow side, the dark side, the Darth Vader archetype; & water. Water. Water! This is a big one. I'm excited (Excitement moves through me).

Ok family, friends. So much love.

Vlog launching...

Greetings friends and family, once again.

This posting will be short and sweet. I want to announce the launching of my vlog, my video blog, which you can view right here through my youtube channel:

www.youtube.com/hancocthemancoc

I'm hoping it will be a great supplement to my rants and ravings here, perhaps giving this blog the spice and life it needs to really fly sky high! Yeahhhhhh!

Ok, enjoy!

In lak'ech

-I am another yourself--

Falling back reflection

Greetings friends & loved ones!

It feels good to be writing for one & all with the fall in full swing. I have been enjoying the changing of beautiful dissiduous trees, the fruiting persimmons & apples, and the hardy root crops like carrots & beets. I've already made 4 or 5 batches of sour crout & kimchi (I helped others with their batches, plus a few of my own), dried loads of fruit, veggie chips, and various crackers, and gathered a good amount of acorns and english walnuts.

I must say that though I tend to delight in the summer energy (heat, movement, sweet, fruit, outward flowering), it feels good to be pushed inside for herbal teas, miso soup, mediation/contemplation, and rest. What a blessing it is to experience the changing seasons!

Life for me had been flowing beautifully as of late... And as of early for that matter. I have been keeping up with my yoga practice with laser beam focus, and must say it has truly been the foundation of my reality for the past 3 months. I feel vital & healthy, connected to my breath & beingness, with all the energy I could possibly need for day to day missions and adventures. Ahhhh, yes.
I have been working (playing) on lots of farms & gardens, connecting with so many wonderful souls all over the Ridge & Nevada city, and just recently started working at a raw food (with cooked stuff too) restaurant in Nevada city called the Fix. Check it out at thefixforfoodies.com. I'm coming to a great balanacing point with everything I'm doing and it feels great.

I believe I will be in this general area until at least February when my yoga teacher training ends, but otherwise I'm at a rather crucial crossroads of what's next? kinda thing.
And my choices seem to be between traveling and grounding, or some combination of the two. I would really like to make a pilgrimage to India to complete (or deepen, really) my yoga training. I have friends with land in both Costa Rica and Peru that I would really like to visit, as there's a possibility of some communities (with ecological/spirtual focus) taking shape in both these places. And then there is always the distinct possibility of journies to Hawaii, new Zealand, or a number of other spots I've felt really drawn to.
I know if I do go anywhere that I want the trip to be extremely intentional, meaning not simpy travel somewhere just to go, or just to "see the sites". I want to challenge myself, co-create with others, really do some awesome stuff that I feel is in line with my soul path! At this point my conclusion for "where do I go next" is to simply do the best I can every day, knowing fully well that I will be guided to do the right thing when the moment is upon me. Hooray for destiny!
more into, "what is my grand life vision right now?" Like, what do I want to reflect on lying on my death bed kind of thing.

Heaven on Earth comes to mind. Like, there's this idea that there's lots of pain and suffering in the world right now, so it seems like facilitating the emergence of Heaven on Earth is a worthy application of my energy. The question is, how would I do this? How would help do this, allow this? In what way can I play a positive role in moving from point A to point B. Yeah?

Well, right now it seems my energy is best applied in the realms of community, food, & yoga. Building sustainable communities with full-range food/living systems, and teaching and applying my daily life the yogic & food arts and sciences. More details regarding this magic will emerge soon... I believe my next blog posting will be the Art of Change #2. It's been about 9 months (a full birthing or gestation period) since I started this blog in February. So I feel it will be a good time for a Art of Change #2 posting whereby I talk about some of the changes I've gone through in the past 9 months. Until then, love & gratitude!

Liam

Summer... almost gone..

Well my friends, it seems as though are wonderful Summer season is coming to a close. The fall equinox is tomorrow, and pretty soon the leaves will be changing, the apples, winter squash, cabbage and all sorts of root veggies and greens will begin flooding the farmers markets, Thanksgiving and Halloween decorations will be abound, and our brother Sun will go to bed earlier and earlier until late December.

I love fall. I welcome the fall. I am the fall, the changing of the leaves and the shedding of form, the harvesting of planted seeds and wilting of old flowers worn. I am that. I am constantly changing, I thrive on it--releasing old concepts and complexes, re-integrating shadow parts of myself... Constantly shifting the matrix, the programming. I am that. I am fall.

I'm grounded in North San Juan, CA, up on "the Ridge." That's what this area is called in the North San Juan, Nevada City, Grass Valley locale (all neighboring cities/area). "The Ridge." And who lives on "the Ridge?" Ridge folk. Ridge-ites. Ridgers and Ridgians. Good people up here I tell ya. I walk, bike, and hitchhike every with ease. And Nevada City is a solid 12 miles away, so I definitely rely on hithchiking there and back at least a few times a week, but lately almost every day! And it's like a taxi service around, a highly evolved publich transportation system. The rides are so consistent, if I wait for 5 minutes I start to wonder what's going on! It sure is a blessing. And maybe its the energy I putting out? Sure. That aligns with my view of things (my concept of life or matrix, as it were). But it's also the openness and kindness of these Ridge folk. The Ridgites. A really nice community to be in.

I've been continuing my morning practice with great consistency, which has been a really nice discipline for me. And I believe I am going to start teaching yoga classes up on the Ridge very soon. I connected with the director of a local community center, and she said I am welcome to teach there! So that's exciting. I've been eating really well, working in eating out of the garden where I live and doing work-trades at various local farms for additional produce. I've been doing a green cleanse the last 2 weeks, which means I can eat anything as long as its green. I've had a lot of green smoothies, really spices ones too! I put chard and kale and zuchini and cucumber and cabbage and celery and such things, and then garlic, onion, ginger (not "green," but more like spices, which is ok), jalapeno, green pepper, tumeric, cinnamon, nutmeg, pepper, spirulina flakes, lime, and the one key ingredient: avocado. Avocado turns the conconction into a creamy amazing spicy goodness. It really has been very delicious, I must have had a dozen of these things already. And they are so very filling.

I went to this farm party last night at Mountain Bounty, a nice local farm with a CSA about 4 or 5 miles away from me. I brought a green salsa for the salsa contest, and then proceeded to go and eat lots things the were green, and some that were not.

Take the peach cobbler for instance. Nothing green about it. But boy was it good and worth it!
So its ok, I feel my morning yoga discipline is enough. Sometimes I have to step outside the structure a little bit to taste the peach cobbler, ya know? Wow, delicious.

It was a fun party too! A bluegrass band, lots of other amazing farm fresh food of course. I made a corn kernal knecklace. And met a lot of really nice people! Ah, what a time.

I'm really happy about where I am! I think I probably won't do too much moving around until December, whereby I hope to go to a yoga retreat and then see the family for Christmas! We'll see how that all works out. I'm not too, too concerned at this point. For now I hope to just keep the practice up, embrace the fall from without and hold the energy of the fall within, stay in my heart, and dance to the rhythm of the changing seasons and moment by moment shifts. Dance with balance, and grace, and clarity, and humility.

Love!

The Art of Change

I saw this quote posted on my good friend Joshua "Param Sevak" Adair's facebook page, and it inspired my to write a posting I've been philosophizing over extensively, as of late.

"Correcting oneself is correcting the whole world. The Sun is simply bright. It does not correct anyone. Because it shines, the whole world is full of light. Transforming yourself is a means of giving light to the whole world."
~Ramana Maharshi

This quote expresses, in an ecstatic, Rumi-esque fashion, what I will be calling for the purposes of this posting the "Art of Change," or the "Science of Change." How change actually takes place metaphysically, or within any given reality.

The main reason I'm posting this is because I have been philosophizing about it so much lately that I need to express it somewhere. The concept has been buzzing around my psyche for some weeks, so I figure in my blog is just as good a place as any. Yeah? Also, the second reason is I'm just plain weary of being confronted with something I'd like to term "activist's syndrome." I will explain in full detail what this is, & why the understanding the art or science of change will quickly cure this very unfortunate syndrome.

Ok, so I'm going to set a few premises, do some blah blah, and then a beautiful profound conclusion will emergy whereby you'll spit whatver liquid your currently ingesting out your nose & mouth onto the computer screen, laughing yourself silly out of your rolling chair, onto the ground, hysterically foaming at the mouth and seisuring while you rocket your awareness into a state of transcendent bliss. I can't make any promises, but I'm pretty sure if you read on your experience will play out about like this.

The first premise is that everything we experience in the Universe, all matter, dense or subtle, is energy. Everything is energy, vibrating or pulsing at a particular frequency, a vibratory signature if you will. When we walk around a park or drive down a highway, we mostly experience what seems like fixed matter, mechanical in nature, will little apparent change taking place. But the truth of the matter is that everything we see on a day to day basis is an enormous flow of atoms, protons, neutrons, electrons, & so on, all vibrating and pulsing in a grand dance of constant flux and change. Everything we see, including we humans, has a particular vibratory frequency or signature that differentiates it from everything else, yet the vibratory signature of all things greatly affect one another.

Here is a really fancy picture to wow you into accepting my first premise.















Ok, so that is the first premise. Everything is energy flowing , and everything has a vibratory frequency. When you wake up your vibratory frequency is at a certain level, and when you go to a heavy metal concert, the vibratory signature of that concert affects your signature. Everything we eat, say, think, see, etc., affects our signature. Some things have a greater effect than others. Since we are mostly water, it is important for us to drink the best water we can possibily drink, as it affects are unique signature more than we probably realize moment to moment.

The second premise that I want to establish is that of the law of magnetic attraction. This law has been popularized (more accurately sensationalized) in such popular works as "The Secret," which people now clumsily use to get more stuff. Well, I won't go there or pretend to assume what it's being used for. In fact, I'm more interested in relaying the proper processes for reaping the full benefits of "The Secret" than I am what ends people are seeking. So, the law of magnetic attraction basically states that like attracts like. The frequency at which anything vibrates attracts a similar frequency. So in the words of "the Secret," if you want cash just think of cash a lot. Which would probably work over time, but I feel is not even half the picture, since there is a whole lot more to our indivual vibratory frequency than just our consciously controlled thoughts focused in on "cash."

Other parts of our frequency include our subconscious garbage, our past experiences, agreements, beliefs, dogmas, ideologies, etc. If at some point in our life we believed that we were unable to make much money, yet we never de-programmed this belief, then it is still a part of our vibratory signature, and will thus prevent us from attracting the wealth we so often desire. For many, the subconscious mind becomes so overloaded with a certain idea or belief that it has to overflow into the unconscious mind, which affects our unconscious processes like blood flow, digestion, and cell maintenance. In this way, many people have certain tramatic memories stored in their cell memory! It can be much more tricky to alter the vibrations stored within our cells than lets say, digesting and pooping out a hamburger.

So, I suppose these two premises alone will be enough to express what I want to express. If everything is vibrating energy, and like attracts like, then the only way to attract what you want to attract is to change your own vibrational frequency. By the same logic, the only way to change what you want to change in the world is to change your own frequency. If you want to see more love in the world, going and starting a love campaign and picketing for more love will not be nearly as potent (I'm inclined to think love picketing would outright fail, but I'm not going to take a firm stance) as actually altering your own vibration to that of love. And yes, love is an actual vibratory frequency, not just an idea espoused by sappy romantics. I'm not going to supply lots of stats here, but if you do a bit of poking around (mind you, the internet has the collective knowledge of all human beings ever), you will see than indeed, everything, including love & anger, has a particular frequency. Love is high vibe. It makes us high, it makes us feel good. Some say it is our natural state. Anger, hate, greed, etc., are low vibe. They make us feel low, they make us not feel so good at all. Some beings, unfortunately, are used to this feeling, addicted, and thus feed on it. Others have just never experienced a higher frequency.

So, to be brief, "activist's syndrome" is a low-vibrational state of wanting to change the world yet coming from a place of anger, hate, greed, lust, envy, revenge, etc. When one tries to change anything from a low-vibrational state, one will merely attract more low-vibe states. When one wants to see peace in the world, the only way to attract this is to be peaceful oneself. Hanging out with peaceful people will greatly assist this process, as the peaceful vibrations (that is, calm, centered, steady, yet high) of others will affect one's own vibratory pulse or signature. Just simply being peaceful and acting in a peaceful manner going about one's own business will do more to create peace in the world than a million anti-chaos or pro-peace rallies. The anti/pro thing doesn't matter. Well, it matters a little, as it sets the intention for the gathering. But more imporant is the vibration of the individual participants and thus the collective frequency. If the frequency is high and peaceful, peace will be attracted. If low, welp... Here comes more low! Yay!

So to master the "Art of Change," one must simply select a process or set of processes that allows or facilitates the change of one's own vibrational frequency! If you want more wealth, simply thinking about money will do the trick, but better: Reprogram all beliefs about wealth. Surround oneself with wealthy people. Put up pictures every where of items associated with wealth, deities of wealth. Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth. Make daily affirmations "I am wealthly, I am wealthy," over and over and over. Look! You have to change your frequency. This can take a lot of work. You are vibrating one way now, so in order to vibrate a whole new way, you gotta really go for it. If you want to have a peaceful vibe, seek out people providing ways of obtaining peace. Read books on meditation. Go on peaceful walks. Where peaceful colors. Listen to peaceful music. Just surround yourself with peace. Slowly but surely your vibration will begin to change. Over time, it will become much more steady & fixed. It will take a lot to move you from your peaceful vibration.

Figure out what you want to change about the world and yourself. Then, simply engage in an intense process of changing your own pulse. That's how its done.

Love.

Free-form Flow

The only intentions I have for this posting is to allow the flow of my consciousness to spill out onto the screen. So here goes...

As far as the doings go for the past month: I arrived in Nevada City, CA by way of craigslist from Oakland, CA. I was dropped off on the side of the road at midnight and set up a squat spot by a nice little river and loads of wild blackberries, about 25 mins walk from downtown Nevada City. I spent the first week around town making different connections, doing lots! of walking, and basically trying to acclimate and ground myself.

Then came the first week of yoga teacher training, which I found to be challenging, enjoyable, and informative. I also feel it really helped me strengthen my own daily practice (sadhana), which was one of my primary intentions for taking on the training. I made loads of good connections as well, and am currently living with a family in the area that I met through a nice lady named Mary Joe that is also taking the teacher training. It was nice squatting by the river for a little while, and now it is really nice having a garden to work in, a bathroom when I need it, a blender, a computer, etc. So very nice! I am blessed to have been graced with such a find situation.

After the firs week intensive of teacher training, I felt I had a bit of adventuring to do, so I put up the thumb & hitched up to Mt. Shasta. It took me a day to hitch there (was very humbling), and I spent the night in Chico, CA in a lovely garden that I was shown by a friend fellow I met at a health food store. When I arrived in Shasta I was able to touch base with Monique (the nice lady that gifted me the funds to down-pay for the teacher training), go see Masaru Emoto give a presentation on water, and sleep up on the mountain. It is really quite a place this Mt. Shasta! They have amazing untreated spring water, loads of fruit trees around for the picking, friendly people, fresh air, & so on. Oh so lovely!

I was also able to meet up with my good friend Emma in Shasta, and she whisked us away to the Redwood Forest, then the Mendocino coast for a 3 day yoga/raw food retreat, which was also very nice. I was able to swim in the pacific, meet more amazing people, and continue to enjoy me daily practice, which I will speak more of in a moment. I met 2 very nice girls in Mendo, Molly & Cari, who took me to Lake Tahoe, just north of Nevada City by about an hour and a half. So I stayed with Cari for 2 days in Tahoe, and she gave me a ride back to the Grass Valley/Nevada City area where I was able to reconvene with Mary Joe (my landlady/co-houser/whathaveyou). Hooray! What an adventure!

Ah, yes. So I wanted to discuss daily practice. In the kundalini yoga tradition (the one I am now studying my yoga teacher training), daily practice ("Sadhana" Sod-ah-nah) is not just a science, its a way of being. Its the foundation by which one creates one's reality. The main idea is that human experience can be limitless, but our subconscious mind becomes overloaded with junk and detracts from our daily experience of the world. It becomes so jammed with mental constructs, agreements, advertisements, and whatever other media or energy that we expose ourselves to, that it pours into our conscious experience & thus influences the way we act & operate on a daily basis... Unless of course we have some way of clearing or alleviating our subconscious mind... We have a "grid of experience" that is basically the monitor of our computer, the overarching lens through we our awareness is filtered, thus forming our conscious reality. The vastness and fullness of what we see & experience through this monitor is greatly affected by our subconscious programming.

Sadhana is like an assassin or an atomic bomb to the garbage built up in the subconscious mind. When one practices every day (not one-two, skip a few, but every day!), the subconscious mind is very quickly de-programmed, so many of our trite judgments, detrimental habits, destructive patterns, and toxic predispositions implode in on themselves. They are powerless against the power of sadhana.

So how does Sadhana work?

In many traditions the best time for Sadhana is between 4-7 am, or the 2 1/2 hour period before the sun rises. Albert Einstein used to wake up at 4 am because he found he was able to focus so supremely at this hour. Go figure? My experience is that daily practice is much more easy between 4-7, so this is when I try to do it. Even by 8 am I resist the practice so much more. Once the sun has risen it is just that much more tricky to focus inward, as the sun is instructing us all to exert our energy outward, to go and ride the wave of the day! So between 4-7 one simply practices the same thing for a certain amount of time every day for a certain amount of days. Here is the psychological breakdown of transformation according to the science of kundalini yoga (not according to me (though I have experienced the effects), I'm just taking this out of a book):

Meditation times every day
3 minutes of meditation affects the electromagnetic field, the circulation and stability of the blood

11 minutes of meditation begins to chance the nerves and the glandular system

22 minutes of meditation balances the three minds (negative, neutral, positive), and they begin to work together

31 minutes of meditation allows the glands, breath, and concentration to affect all the cells and rhythms of the body.

62 minutes changes the gray matter in the brain. The subconscious "shadow mind" and the outer projection are integrated.

2 1/2 hours changes the psyche in its co-relation with the surrounding magnetic field so that the subconscious mind is held firmly in the new pattern by the surrounding universal mind.

Effects of consecutive days of mediation

40 days changes a habit

90 days confirms the habit

In 120 the new habit is who you are

In 1,000 days you have mastered the new habit
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So I have been doing a morning sadhana (in my case, a yogic exercise involving the breath) since May 05th now, and I must say the effects have been profound. It has brought me so much more balance to my life, and I feel it takes very little effort to do it every day. Less & less effort every day! I simply think "Oh, if I break the streak the effects will be diminished, I'll have to start from day 1 again, and the high I'm on every day will be reduced. I better do my sadhana!"

And that's how it goes. I am at a point where I do a particular mediation every morning for 62 minutes. I started out with 3 minutes May 5th, and gradually worked myself up to 62 as it felt good. So now I'm committed to the 1000 stretch to see how far I can take the effects of this already profound practice. We shall see!

There are so many ways to activate a sadhana. If you like to paint, paint every day for a set time. Don't skip a day. Don't ever skip a day! This will break the chain of the strong psychological reconditioning you're delivering mercilessly to the politcal parties and renegade opinions parading around in the lawless depths of your subconscious mind... So paint every day and see the magic that emerges. If you like to run, run every day. If you like to read, read every day. If you like to sing, meditate, shoot skeet, play guitar, ad infinitum, do it every day, a lot. Early is nice. Clear you subconscious of all the garbage that prevents the full potential of healthy, productive, enjoyable experience from taking place! This is my message. Take it or leave it.

But either way--

Love.

Summer solstice, rainbow, and beyond!

So, the last several weeks since my stay in the Jemez mountains have been very fruitful.

After the fire @ Casey's land, I went and stayed in Taos for two weeks, working at a farm at the Hanuman temple, meeting lots of good folks, eating well, and grounding intensely. I finished covering the head of the djembe I started back in March, sewed up 2 pairs of shoes (one of which is lost to me now), and got lots of good rest, physically & psychologically. I had a little money to spend while I was there, and decided to invest in a copy of the Tao Te Ching translated by Stephen Mitchell. This really helped me to re-contextualize my intentions for this blog and my life in general, which I will come back to in a moment. For a now, a brief summary of adventures and doings.

After my Taos tenure I went to a yoga retreat up in the Jemez mountains near Espanola, NM. I was on the set up crew for the retreat, so I was there for 10 days before the retreat began. It was quite nice to be able to get to know so many wonderful people, connect to the land, and have a little peace and tranquility before 2000 people showed up. It was at this retreat that I decided I would complete a yoga teacher training as soon as possible, and thanks to a gracious donation from a very good friend I met there (Ms. Monique Decker from Luxembourg, a veritable angel), I will be beginning my training starting July 16th in Nevada City, CA.

After the retreat ended July 28th, I headed to the Santa Fe National forest for the 2009 National Rainbow Gathering. If you aren't familiar with the Rainbow phenomenon, check online through wikipedia or a like source for deep details. For now, I'll just say that it is a family not connected by blood, race, ethnicity, or creed, but rather by the universal commitment to world peace through creative/alternative lifestyles and community. The "Rainbow Tribe" has been gathering all over the world for about 40 years now.

The gathering was quite a wonderful experience for me. I worked at a raw food kitchen (which is convenient, as I started a raw food cleanse/diet (Live-it) around June 18th at the beginning of the yoga retreat), took nature walks collecting wild edibles, played lots of music, did a lot of walking, bathed in a nice creek, and just soaked in the peace of the mountain atmosphere. I met so many amazing people, and connected with two fellas, Dean & Chris, who are also on there way to CA. I write right now from Sedona, Arizona, and the three of us will soon make our way towards Nevada City. We have been munching on greens we collecting in the mountains for 2 days now, really just taking our time to enjoy the trip to CA.

And now, back to the Tao Te Ching... Buying a copy of the Tao in Taos (go figure Tao-s), as well as talking to several people about the book/philosophy/way of being, as well as many experiences I've had since Feb. have given me a lot of clarity about my original intentions for this website, and the ways in which I can activate the wisdom gained from this blog, the Tao, and my life in general.

Here are some brief insights that I am beginning to integrate on a day to day basis:

The world is perfect. People have lots of ideas and concepts about the how lost we are, how are ecological systems are spiraling out of control, how darkness has fallen over humanity, etc. And that's all very fine and nice for them. But I no longer want to live my life through ideas about the way things are. More and more I am beginning to feel that people's (or my own) judgements about the conditions of external reality have in fact, nothing at all to do with the external world, but are merely a reflection of the reality of each individual, projected onto the "external world."

When people say that George Bush was an insane president, or gay people shouldn't be aloud to get married (side note: should/need to/have to are in the process of being eliminated from my vocabulary), or that pizza tastes really good/bad/fluffy, it has nothing to do with reality as it truly is, and has everything to do with the stories people are addicted to telling about the world around them. The judgement that GB is insane is only reflecting the inner insanity of the judge. The judgement that gay people shouldn't get married is only reflecting the fears/homophobia/discomfort of the judge. Good/bad/fluffy tasting pizza isn't in the pizza, it's in the person eating the pizza.

These are my feelings. This is the reality I would like to embody. It's okay to eat pizza and just be eating pizza, being present with the pizza, appreciating each flavor and bite without trying to figure out the meaning of pizza, or attach ideas to pizza. It's okay to observe Bush and then go on about one's day without a thought about how _______ he is and how X person would do ____ & _____ in a much more ______ way.

I've related to the world around me most of my life through ideas/ideology/conceptual thinking. I suspect the same is true for many others as well. Well I'm done with it I tell ya! Pizza is pizza. Pizza is. George Bush is as real to me as Darth Vader. He's just a character in a story that I've seen on TV a lot. He really made people lose their center, lose their peace. Yet like me, very few people had any real, first hand experience of GB. They just related to the idea of him as portrayed through media coverage. GB just is. He isn't good or bad or any one thing. He's always in a state of change, in a constant flux. Why would we try to pin him down with qualifiers?

I've written a lot already in this blog posting, and there will be another posting very soon to be sure. I have a lot more to say about the ways the Tao has begun to shape my life, and the experiences and journeys that have been highly influential to me in these last months. For now, I will say that I hope for people to realize all the things in their own reality that are blocking the flow of serenity.

The Universe is always changing in a beautiful dance of experience. There are many ways we can relate to the dance. All of them are perfect, and each individual can choose their favorite way at any point and time. We haven't done anything wrong--not one of us. Things arise and things pass. People kill people, people help people, dogs chase cats, hurricanes happen, buildings collapse. All of it is just perfect, right where it needs to be at all times. See the perfection within & the perfection without will necessarily unfold. I love you all!

Forest fired pottery.

So, I have been up in the Jemez mountains for the last few weeks, creating gardens, working on various building projects, doing sweat lodges, and so on. I met a really nice Belgian fellow named Victor at the Return of the Elders gathering, and through him met Casey, he that is connecting me to the Jemez. Casey has about 20 acres @ 8500 ft, and is working on establishing a Jedi training art school thingy. It's pretty neat. He wants to eventually have a self-sustaining system, a library, ceremonial space, and the whole shabang. I'm excited!

We've been cooking lots of great meals, doing yoga, relaxing, working gardens, reading and writing, watching sun sets, soaking at local hot springs, and so on. It's been lovely.

3 nights ago Casey fired some pottery in a big metal barrel. We watched the coals burn down, and then went to bed. We awoke the next day, and just went through are usual routine. Sunrise, breakfast, garden work, etc. Around noon I was working on the garden by myself, and noticed that over where we had been firing pottery, there was a very large fire.

"Huh!?! That's funny, what are Victor and Casey doing over there?" I thought.

It only took me a moment longer to realize that the very large fire was not intentional whatsoever. I immediately began yellling for help, grabbed two shovels, and ran towards the fire. Casey and Victor walked out of the cabin, I threw Victor a shovel, and we went to work!

We began digging all around the fire to contain it's rage. Casey drove down the mountain to call the fire department (we didn't have a phone), and Victor and I battled on. I dug non-stop for about 1 hour. Then Casey returned and took my spot. Victor and I grabbed some water, and then went back to work. We continued to dig and contain for another 30 minutes, when the fire department finally showed. By then most of the perimeter had been established. We stopped the fire at the property line between Casey's placed and the neighbors.

We were very relieved to not have burned the mountain down! Victor and Casey got some pretty wicked 2nd degree bubbly burns, and we all inhaled more smoke than we would have liked. I have a pretty gnarly stigmata looking crispy blister on my hand from the shovel and the heat, and we all have the memory of the intensity-the heat, the smoke, the feelings of helplessness and eventually transcendance. Whoa!

This is probably about the most raw, visceral, elemental experience I've ever had. I don't think I was afraid for a second. There was certainly no hesitation. But the power that the fire had was overwhelming, humbling, a force to be reckoned with. I still have so much to integrate from this experience. And have a new found respect from anyone caught in such a situation. Be it fire, hurricane, tornado, earthquake. If we do not respect the natural forces that surround us, we beckon an encounter that may leave us changed forever@!

I hope to write more of this experience when I've put it all together.

For now, I love you all! Take care.

Return of the Ancestors gathering & more

Well hello again my friends. The last month has been a wave of experience that carried me to many amazing places with so much to be learned, and so many wonderful people to enjoy.

I finished up my drum carving project at Gemini farm at the beginning of April, and soon after made my way to Sedona, Arizona for the Return of the Ancestors gathering. I didn't exactly "have money" or "know anyone," but my surrender to the guidance I felt to be there led me to some amazing people, and I was well taken care of. Some Quebecians took me in from the beginning, so I had a great group to camp & counsel with for me tenure at the event.

The premise of the gathering was to unite native/indigenous elders from all over the world so they could share their prayers and visions for the turbulent changes that are sweeping through the world, as well as to simply share traditional wisdom and ceremonial space. I must say it was quite a learning experience! I would also add that the majority of my personal growth came not directly from the scheduled gathering events, but rather from the youth counsels and collective interactions that were held outside the gathering. I was amazed at the multitude of open-hearted souls I met throughout the event, and can't express the gratitude I feel for all the music, food, and conversation I shared over these past weeks.

I would say one of the highlights of the adventure was a sunrise ceremony at the Grand Canyon. A couple hundred people gathered at a GC lookout with drums, shakers, and all sorts of wonderful magic, and we sang and danced and played as the sun rose over the horizon. It was marvelous! It made me wonder why I don't have a sunrise/set ceremony every day. It is, afterall, one of the most universal occurences of the planet. And an amazing way to dial into natural rhythms day by day. Yes, I will seek to manifest this vision of shared daily sunrise ceremony. Waking and feeling the heat on my face and expressing the joy through song and dance. And then walking away with the whole day ahead of me, bright and full to be sure. Yes, I will do it. We will do it.

Spoonality

Spring is emerging in Northern New Mexico. The mountain snow is melting away. No longer is the breaking of ice necessary for morning creek dips. I've moved into a casita on the farm, and am enjoying the atmosphere as always. I just spent a few days in Ojo Caliente, near Taos, helping a friend and a seasonal worker of the farm (really a member/partner) Brett do some work on his house in the desert. Me, Brett, and Kosma did a whole lot of digging, mud mixing, and adobe brick laying. And as always enjoyed delicious food and music. After day 1 of digging we visited the hot mineral springs near Ojo to soak our bones and revitalize our souls. We dipped in hot arsenic and iron baths, sat in the sauna, and drank lithium water. Upon leaving I felt rejuvenated! What a place.

An activity I've steeped myself in as of late has led me to some interesting thoughts about life. The boys on the farm are firm believers in self-reliance, and as such go as far as to carve up all their own utinsils. So spoon carving is often a winter ritual that one and all enjoys.

Since I've been on the farm I've busted out about 6 or 7 spoons, and am beginning to try and develop my own taste and style. I like to go with the grain of whatever wood I'm working with, and see what shapes emerge from the way the wood runs naturally. The last spoon I carved included stylized designs on the handle--twisting and turning rounded curves. I was pleased with the result.

Whilst carving, observing, and talking with people on the farm about spoons, I have had some realizations about reality, or spoonality, if you will. Teague likes to sand his spoons down, and can really hammer one out with speed and efficiency. He told me he has observed a lot of metal spoons, and appreciates the superior feminine physique that sanding gives a spoon. Kosma never sands his spoon, as he feels the sand paper is rubbing in a bunch of chemicles to a device that will be put in your mouth again and again. So when he approaches a nearly finished product, he likes to make tiny little cuts with his pocket knife that are tantamount to sanding. A cook at a buddhist monastery in southern Colorado visited last week, and when I showed him a recent product of mine, he said "Very nice, except it looks like you could go a little deeper on the spoon part."

In short, everyone carves their spoons a certain way, appreciates a certain aesthetic, and thinks that this or that is a prerequisite for a fine spoon. I have received lots of feedback, instruction, criticism, and advice, all of which have been greatly appreciated. I hold a deep respect for teachers and have no problem amending the way I think or do things if it means greater health and wealth for myself and others.

But if there is anything I've learned from the experience thus far, its not what my spoons should look like or how it should be done. Its that everything I've been told reflects each individual's unique spoonality. When it comes down to it, my spoon doesn't have to look any certain way, or even be functional. I can do whatever I want, & there is really no way for me to possibly do wrong as long as I appreciate the final product and enjoyed the process. Surely I can take something from each experience? I certainly don't have to hold a single preconceived notion for each spoon carving project. If I want to do things fast, I'll go out back with the hatchet and get my spoon as close to the finished product as I possibly can. If I want to have a smooth, flowing final product, I will sand it down to a nice finish. If want to give it a hand carved look, I will leave all the little whittles in place.

But ultimately, I can create my own spoonality. Each spoon carving project can be done a different way. I can be as consistent or inconsistent as I like, have as rough or splintery or wide or small or whatever as I want! The possibilities are endless. Each spoon stave holds a unique treasure waiting to emerge from its spoon cacoon. I wonder what I'll create next?

So remember to respect teachers, but beware of words that dictate rigid structure. Every day you can create what you feel matches the energy of the day best. People's words are mirrors for their own spoonality. Why not carve your own?

Grounded in New Mexico

So my journey to New Mexico has proved to be a fruitfull one. I rendezvoused with my dear friends Ryan & Felicja (of Williams Island Farm in Chattanooga, TN) in Santa Fe about 2 weeks ago. They had both been in California for the winter, and were headed back towards the Island for the 2009 growing season. Felicja was born & raised in Santa Fe, so it was nice to be introduced to Santa Fe & various parts of northern New Mexico with such grace and fluidity.

We spent a few days in the Santa Fe area hanging low, and then ventured to Felicja's brothers' farm in Las Trampas, NM, between Taos and Santa Fe.

And what an amazing place it is!

Felicja's bros Teague & Kosma started the farm about 6 years ago, and it has been thriving ever since. When Teague graduated from Tufts University and Kosma from highschool, they both decided they wanted to connect with the land and provide their hometown with local produce. So they decided that the best way to do so would be to dive right into the dirt & start their own project. They lease the land from a friend of theirs in the moutains of northern New Mexico, right on the border of the Pecos Wilderness. The 7 acre farm sits at about 7500 feet, so it stays snowy about 6 months out of the year. They tell me that the Trampas area has been known to receive snow in the middle of June, so the microclimate is specific to say the least. They discoverd very early on that root veggies like carrots, beets, parsnips, and potatoes thrive wonderfully with the warm days & cold nights, so they are certainly a mainstay on the farm. But they also have green houses for warmer climate crops like tomatoes & peppers, and for winter greens. Even now we are enjoying fresh arrugla salads, as well as kale and cilantro.

Teague, Kosma, and their recent farm cohort Brett welcomed us warmly into their adobe home. After spending a few days there playing music, eating out of the root cellar,working with the goats, and taking the donkeys for rides into the mountains, we had a sweat lodge ceremony to commemorate the full moon and bring us all closer together.

The sweat lodge tradition has been handed down from Native American cultures like the Lakota people as a purification ritual. Teague, Kosma, and Felicja had been introduced to the practice at a young age through their father, an avid collector and dealer of Native American art & active supporter of various Native American organizations. The quickest way to describe the sweat lodge would be to imagine the combination of a fast, a sauna, and thanksgiving (Though I don't believe such a description does the experience much justice, nor does it capture its transformative force).

The lodge is basically a structure made out of Willow saplings that are bent into a dome-like shape and covered with blankets. It represents both the body of a turtle (with the head being a small alter in front of the door), the womb, and Mother Earth herself. Igneous rocks are heated in a fire pit outside the lodge, and then placed inside for the duration of the ceremony. Particpants enter from the left and move inside the lodge clockwise or sunwise, being sure to respect the natural movement of celestial bodies. Once everyone is inside, water is poured over the rocks to generate steam, and the sweat begins. Then everyone expresses their thoughts, hopes, feelings, and especially their gratitude for life and the abundance of the Earth throughout four different sweat rounds. After each round the door is opened to allow everyone a chance to cool down. In some rounds the focus is more on giving thanks, while in others the focus is more on singing or free expression. It is definitely a very powerful way to release toxins from the body, purge the mind, connect with each other, and reconfirm one's beliefs and purpose.

After the lodge is over everyone jumps in the icy waters of an adjacent creek, much like is done after a sauna or a steam. In this way it really does feel like emerging from a womb. You come out sweaty and disoriented, and then are plunged into a rather unfamiliar, uncomfortable place! It is quite amazing, however, how much the icey waters warm the body after a few moments. I enjoyed my dip so much, in fact, that I have made it a daily practice every since the lodge. I still haven't overcome the utter ridiculousness of observing myself break through the ice with a shovel and then choosing consciously, without anyone asking me or paying me, to completely submerge myself in the freezing cold water. And I still jump out of the water laughing hysterically, mumbling gibberish while stumbling through the snow wrapped in a towell. But I never do regret it! I just can't imagine a better way to wake up and embrace the elements as the sun is just beginning to peak over the mountains.

So anyhow, the sweat lodge is quite a great ritual, and will fortunately be performed every New and Full Moon. As far as other daily activities go, I have been waking up early for creek dips and stretching/various exercises. I generally fire up the wood stove as soon as I arise, throw on a kettle of water, and brew a pot of red clover, alfalfa, and mint tea. Then a nice breakfast of oats & apples, homemade sourdough and fruit preserves, squash pie, or perhaps the remnants of a hearty soup from the night before is enjoyed by one and all. Afterwards we do whatever work we can, such as feeding the animals, watering the greenhouses, or preparing meals. I am currently working on the restoration of an old wagon as a personal project. But as a group we are never short of things to enjoy in these slow winter months. Kosma and I have been playing lots of chess. I have been riding up into the mountains on the donkeys with Teague as much as I can. And we all enjoy playing music together, cooking and eating meals, and any other community-type events that bring us closer together. I have had plenty of time to read, send letters, and practice carving. I just finished my first spoon not two days ago! And I plan to learn as much I can of the drum making trade from Kosma, who learned to carve and cover drums during a trip to Guatemala. So many great things to learn and be a part of. The opportunities for growth are endless!

Just last week Kosma and I hiked upstream to do a little winter fishing. We weren't very sure we could hook anything in the February cold, but after about 3 minutes of light casting, and with only 1 worm, we caught three beautiful fish! Mine is the mighty 9 incher. We came out of the mountains with smiles on our faces and threw the fish right into the iron skillet with a little bit of olive oil. They sure were delicious, and we made sure to thank them for providing us with some much needed winter nourishment.

So Ryan and Felicja have already made their way back to Williams Island, and Kosma and Teague welcomed me to stay on the farm until my journies take me elsewhere. My plan right now is to stay here until at least May, at which time I hope to do a Permaculture Design Course in Bolinas, California. But I may perhaps extend my time in Las Trampas if I'm invited to do so. After all, I couldn't possibly ask for more here, being right on the border of the Pecos Wilderness, having plenty of delicious & nutritious food and amazing animals, and an energetic company of skilled, creative people with abundant love for everything they do. What a blessing it is to be grounded in New Mexico.

Love & Gratitude

About two weeks ago my wonderful mother gave me the the book, "The Hidden Messages in Water," by Masaru Emoto.

The basic premise of the book involves Japanese scientist Emoto's experiments with exposing water to certain external stimuli, such as music or pictures, freezing the water, and then photographing the resulting images. Emoto is always sure to take before and after photos, often times with some surprising results.

After years of research, Emoto believes very deeply that the fundamental structures of water can be and are indeed effected by anything from music, to vocalized & written words, to pictures, to thoughts--to really any sort of external influence or stimulus. Emoto has found that speaking words like "love and gratitude" with sincerity results in intricately formed crystals of astounding beauty, while saying things like "you fool" to water results in damaged, hazy crystals. Furthermore, Emoto writes emphatically about the necessity of expressing this love & gratitude to everything, especially human beings, as we are made up of 70% water ourselves. If unkind words forms damaged crystals in the fundamental structures of water, what could they do to our own cellular structures or psychological constitution?

It seems to me a very worthy question indeed. And an empowering one at that. Could simply feeling or thinking love and gratitude towards a glass of water improve its quality or vitality as one guzzles it down? If anything, one would surely enjoy every sip with that sort of awareness in mind during a glorious guzzling session.

One thing I've realized lately is this: if what Emoto says is true, how could I possibly integrate such a philosophy into my own life? After all, I have been drinking and cooking and swimming in water my whole life without much notion of the effect my own thoughts and feelings have whilst interacting with the liquid goodness that is H2O. So how could I create a lasting impression in my own state of being that actually shifts the way I interact with water or anything else on a day to day basis? Welp, Emoto assures the reader that it is becoming more and more possible everyday to carry out these water crystal experiments in a cost effective manner. And if I were the type to utilize micro-observational technology and all sorts of other scientific gizmos and gadgets, I might just give it a try. But this is not my way. Fortunately, Emoto supplies any even easier, more accessible, and possibly more poignant means of proving to oneself the impact of our own thoughts and feelings.

Emoto recommends taking a look up in the sky from time to time for a little cloud observation. But instead of simply appreciating the shapes and forms of these nomadic sky creatures, try a little experiment. Focus on a cloud, and really direct your attention at its shape and size, taking in all the details. Then, with all your imagination and and feeling, pretend that the cloud is slowly beginning to dissolve. It might be better to start with a small, loner cloud, and then work towards a massive cloud city. Anyhow, continue to focus on the cloud, imagining that it's slowly dissolving. Really focus your attention on it with deep concentration, but don't strain. Just enjoy the experience. After a little while, say or think something to the effect of "thank you for having dissolved," and continue to imagine that the cloud is dissipating. Keep this up until it melts away, and you have just provided yourself with an amazing first hand experience of the power that our own thoughts and feelings have on our reality. In this case, on clouds, which are very subtle amalgamations of H2O, no?

My brother Hunter and I were bouldering in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains in El Dorado Springs, Colorado some two weeks ago. When we reached the top of the foothill we could see both Denver and Boulder, as well as the tiny town of El Dorado Springs. The sun was shining warm and bright, and the sky was almost completely clear but for a few clouds. We had both just finished Emoto's book, so we were curious to see if what is he said about the clouds was true. So we did just as Emoto said...

And what were our results, you may wonder? Well, I wouldn't be writing about a failed experiment(s), would I? If you find the find the idea hard to believe, I surely do not blame you. All we could do was look at each other & laugh in disbelief, both for the first cloud and the second cloud. Even looking back on it now seems more like a dream than something that actually happened in this world, in this reality of mine (& ours).

But don't take my word for it! Go on and give it a try! And bring a few friends along as well to multiply the effect. The more imagination the better, right? It might not even be a bad idea to read Emoto's book beforehand. In this way, one can be theoretically prepared for the experience. And if the experiment is successful, perhaps drinking a glass of water will never be the same again? I can say for myself that I much more inclined to feel love and gratitude for every sip I take. Mmmmmmm water.

Practical Intutition

An interesting happening, as of late.

Yesterday, after ransacking my uncle Michael's bookshelves a second time, looking for knowledge to consume, I came across a book called "Practical Intuition," by Laura Day. The book is all about connecting to your instinct, your inner voice, your cosmic Jiminy Cricket, if you will, and apply it in every day life. It looks like and essentially is a self-help book. Which I will admit I have a distaste for, though I'm not sure why. I'm all about helping myself. I'm my best friend, doctor, psychologist, interpreter, personal trainer, etc. If I need something done in my life, I'm the best person to do it, right? Welp, it makes sense to me at least. So why should I be so turned off by a self-help book? Really, this is immaterial to the posting. I'm simply relating my initial hesitation as a leafed through the paper-back pages.

One of the first exercises in the book was simply to answer the following associative questions immediately, without any thought or analysis. Here are the words and my associations:

1. A man's name: John
2. A woman's name: Karen
3. The name of an animal: Panda
4. The name of a river: Ganges
5. A location: Purgatory
6. A length of time: 10 days
7. A food: Avocado
8. A color: Green
9. A weapon: Machete
10. A cure or remedy: Herbal
11. A wish: Love
12. A fear: Darkness

After completing this exercise, I flipped the page and was told that I had just performed my first intuitive exercise, and the question I was intuiting for was "How will my life be different one year from now?"

"Great," I thought. "Purgatory, machetes, darkness... Can't wait for all these things to enter my life!"

So I continued reading a little while longer, and eventually got bored with the book. I felt ideas building up in me and I was becoming mentally congested, really psychologically heavy and weary. I knew that if I persisted with the book, there was going to be a headache, nap, or book burning. As I walked to put the book back on the shelf, a voice inside my cried: "Nooooo!"

"Quiet Jiminy," I responded, and put the book back in its proper place.

Later that evening I was on craigslist searching through the "rideshare" section of the Denver, Colorado page. I had already secured a ride to Sante Fe, NM with a very nice herbalist lady named Lisa, but we were scheduled to leave on Friday, and I was much too eager to wait that long. I came across a posting someone made about driving from Denver to Arizona, taking I-25 and then cutting across on I-40. "Perfect! Right through Santa Fe," I thought. So I called the number that was listed, and another very nice sounding lady answered. She asked me all sorts of questions about what I was doing, how long I had been farming, where I had gone to school, and so on. It was quite an interview, I must say.

In the middle of the conversation I began to wonder whether or not I should just stick with Lisa, the herbalist. Not that the mystery lady was annoying, or rude, or anything negative at all. I just had the doubt creep into my mind. In the end, we decided to leave either Wednesday night or Thursday early morning.

"Okay," I thought. "I'm sure it will be fine, I would like to leave early so this is the best option."

As we were saying our goodbyes, I realized that she hadn't even told me her name. "Oh, pardon me, what was your name again? I don't seem to remember you telling me..."

"Oh, I beg your pardon, Karen, my name is Karen." (see list above).

I immediately smacked my forehead, "Ah-hah!" After explaining the intuitive association exercise, we had a good laugh, followed by good feelings. I felt comfortable that I was making the right decision, and she seemed to resonate the same state of mind. She also mentioned that her father's name is John. Of course, I had just talked to my good friend Jon Lowell the day before, so I'm not sure about that one. But Karen? Could this merely have been a coincidence? I have no Karens in my life to speak of!

I guess it doesn't really matter one way or the other. Coincidence, intuition, what's the difference anyways? It seems that coincidence implies random chance, while intuition implies some sort of deeper connection or meaning. Of course, come to think of it, "coincidences" make me feel just as good as this experience did, which Mrs. Laura Day was telling me was my intution. So for all practical purposes, whether I am calling an experience the result of random chance or a deeper connection, the end is the same. Comfort, good feelings, & the perception that I'm making a sound decision.

Needless to say, I went back to the bookshelf and grabbed the self-help book. And Jiminy Cricket thanked me.

Context & Intentions

First of all, I want to go ahead and apologize for the lofty title, "Postmodern Tao." Rest assured that I will explain what I mean by this moniker in the coming paragraphs. Also, I feel the length of this post is rather excessive. Don't worry! Much of this posting can be skimmed over, and again, I can assure you that future posts will be fiery comets of brevity, radiating simplicity and experience with an economy of words. This one just needed a little more length to set the stage for future content.

Right now I am in El Dorado Springs, CO, sitting quietly at my uncle's house at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. My uncle Michael is with his girlfriend in Ohio. They were so kind as to let me stay here until I find a ride down to New Mexico.

Anyhow, when I arrived here with my brother Hunter, my first order of business was to raid the bookshelf. I came across a pocket copy of the Tao Te Ching, and knew that I would be in for a treat. I had read excerpts from the book before, but never the work in its entirety. "Ah at last," I thought. "I've been meaning to give this my steady attention for some time."

I must say, it proved to be a valuable read for me and where I am in life right now. I have encountered so much of the wisdom (or lack there of) of the Tao Te Ching elsewhere. But I can't recall ever reading so many succinct jewels collected into one little book. The work raised and addressed many questions about my role in the world today, and the multitudinous paradoxes I encounter by virtue of the times: namely, the trouble of coming from a place of love and balance amidst the very real possibilities of ecological, economical, social, and political collapse; and the difficulty of knowing when to do and when not to do, when to perform action and when to sit back and wait, when to solve problems and when to feel and listen and be.

If you aren't familiar with the Tao Te Ching, here are a few passages that will help us to understand just what this Tao is or isn't, and how it applies to the aforesaid paradoxes. You needn't read them all, though I personally couldn't put the book down once I began. The book was written by a Chinese sage, Lao-tzu, roughly 1500 years ago. It is simply his wisdom (or Universal wisdom, perhaps) of the world around him, collected into short poems.
If you are already very familiar with the book, feel free to skim through the passages, or skip to the bottom of this post.

Chapter 1

The tao that can be told
is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named
is not the eternal Name.

The unnamable is the eternally real.
Naming is the origin
of all particular things.

Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

Yet mystery and manifestations
arise from the same source.
This source is called darkness.

Darkness within darkness.
The gateway to all understanding.

----

Chapter 2

When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

----

Chapter 6

The Tao is called the Great Mother:
empty yet inexhaustible,
it gives birth to infinite worlds.

It is always present within you.
You can use it any way you want.

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Chapter 12

Colors blind the eye.
Sounds deafen the ear.
Flavors numb the taste.
Thoughts weaken the mind.
Desires wither the heart.

The Master observes the world
but trusts his inner vision.
He allows things to come and go.
His heart is as open as the sky.

----

Chapter 29

Do you want to improve the world?
I don't think it can be done.

The world is sacred.
It can't be improved.
If you tamper with it, you'll ruin it.
If you treat it like an object, you'll lose it.

There is a time for being ahead,
a time for being behind;
a time for being motion,
a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous,
a time for being exhausted;
a time for being safe,
a time for being in danger.

The Master sees things as they are,
without trying to control them.
She lets them go their own way,
and resides at the center of the circle.

----

Chapter 32

The Tao can't be perceived.
Smaller than an electron,
it contains uncountable galaxies.

If powerful men and women
could remain centered in the Tao,
all things would be in harmony.
The world would become a paradise.
All people would be at peace,
and the law would be written in their hearts.

When you have names and forms,
know that they are provisional.
When you have institutions,
know where their functions should end.
Knowing when to stop,
you can avoid any danger.

All things end in the Tao
as rivers flow into the sea.

----

Chapter 48

In the pursuit of knowledge,
every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao,
everyday something is dropped.
Less and less do you need to force things,
until finally you arrive at non-action.
When nothing is done,
nothing is left undone.

True mastery can be gained
by letting things go their own way.
It can't be gained by interfering.

----

Chapter 53

The great Way is easy,
yet people prefer the side paths.
Be aware when things are out of balance.
Stay centered within the Tao.

When rich speculators prosper
while farmers lose their land;
when government officials spend money
on weapons instead of cures;
when the upper class is extravagant and
irresponsible
while the poor have nowhere to turn--
all this is robbery and chaos.
It is not in keeping with the Tao.

----

Chapter 71

Not-knowing is true knowledge.
Presuming to know is a disease.
First realize that you are sick;
then you can move toward health.

The Master is her own physician.
She has healed herself of all knowing.
Thus she is truly whole

----

Chapter 74

If you realize that all things change,
there is nothing you will try to hold on to.
If you aren't afraid of dying,
there is nothing you can't achieve.

Trying to control the future
is like trying to take the master carpenter's place.
When you handle the master carpenter's tools,
chances are you'll cut your hand.

----

Chapter 78

Nothing in the world
is as soft and yielding as water.
Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible,
nothing can surpass it.

The soft overcomes the hard;
the gentle overcomes the rigid.
Everyone knows this is true,
but few can put it into practice.

Therefore the Master remains
serene in the midst of sorrow.
Evil cannot enter his heart.
Because he has given up helping,
he is people's greatest help.

True words seem paradoxical.

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OK, great. So I hope I picked enough relevant excerpts for us to obtain a feel for this Tao. For me, reading through the book was at times an emotional rollar coaster. On the one hand I felt every passage resonating deep within me. On the other hand, however, I am at a loss for how to integrate these passages into my life in the postmodern world. How can I bring about peace without doing? How can I be content with things as they are, when famine, obesity, disease, and misery abound? How can I sit back and wait for the right action to present itself, when every day the Earth and all her inhabitants are closer to collective disaster? And more than anything, how can I know when the right action has presented itself? How can I know when the time for waiting and inaction has passed, and motion and action are needed?

Reading through the Tao Te Ching brought all of these things to the forefront of my consciousness. Things I had already been thinking about quite a bit, especially in my relation to friends, family, money, this nation, humanity, the Earth, the Universe, & God, or Allah, or the Tao, or whatever we want to call this elusive albeit Ultimate Truth.

At any rate... Before I go any further, I want to make clear that at no point in this blog will I discuss postmodernism. It started as an architectural movement that was responding to modernist philosophies and aesthetics, and has now taken on so many different meanings and characteristics. I was reluctant to use the word to begin with, and will probably replace it when I think of a better title. Many very clever people will no doubt say that culturally, we are well past the so called postmodern era. And that's just fine. I'm not here to create any innovative artistic movements, or wow people with my knowledge of movements past. For the purposes of this blog, postmodernism simple means the times in which we are living now: When globalization abounds; when people are either swimming in abundance or drowning in dearth; when the ecological balance of the Earth hangs by a single thread; and when each individual's consciousness has a profound effect on the transition of all this misery to a point of peace, or the continuance of the downward spiral.

So for me, the title "Postmodern Tao" refers to the emotional roller coaster I experience when I try to address all of the paradoxes between spiritual practice and the realities of the World today; between coming from a place of balance while addressing all the problems that humanity continues to create; between remaining centered while doing what needs to be done to bring about a greater peace for all sentient & cognizant beings; and between waiting, listening, and observing versus movment and action.

Everything I have said thus far is the context. Everything that's happening in the World today; my place in these chaotic times in relation to all beings; the paradoxes and conflicts I encounter when trying to do what I think is ethical, or help others to live more healthy, fulfilling lives. All of these things.

What, then, are my intentions for this blog? Well, to begin, because I am so interested in continuing my education both formally and informally (degrees & certifications vs. self-exploration & discovery, lectures, action-based learning, etc.), I feel I will be living a fairly nomadic lifestyle indefinitely, in both a physical and psychological sense. Physical in that I will be going to different physical locations to gather skills and learn whatever it is I feel called to learn, and psychological in that all these changes of my physical location will no doubt bring me into contact with unfamiliar ideas & ideals the world over. Who knows who or what I will encounter, and how this will change my worldview or the way in which I experience reality.
So my first intention is to chart my physical and psychological progression over the next, well, however long I suppose. Even if I see over time that literally no one is reading it, it will still serve as a powerful tool for me and my ability to fully integrate all the experiences I have into my consciousness. In charting this progression, I will be both journaling & self-psychoanalizing; I will be maintaining a living autobiography, while trying to activate and incorporate everything I learn (practices, skills, ideas, etc.) into my life.

Another intention I have is to address the paradoxes I have spoken of through the symbolic title "Postmodern Tao." Over time I hope to be able to find a balance between my desire to help bring about a more healthy reality in the world, and my desire to remain desireless & unattached to my own actions and the actions of people around me. Is this possible? I don't know. Is it necessary? Well, again, I don't know. But I do know that letting my perceptions rule me, such as the judgement that others are doing this thing wrong or are not doing this right, and this is causing some sort of negative effect for myself, the Earth, and all humanity, is inherently self-defeating. If I let the little things bring me down, I know I will never reach my highest potential as a human being; I will be unable to be of the utmost service that I can possibly be for everyone and everything.

I think one of the last intentions I have for the blog is to create a meaningful dialogue between myself and whoever may be keeping up with my postings. I will still do plenty of emailing, no doubt, but believe that I could learn a lot about myself, the way I think, and the way I experience the world when other people post comments or ask questions. Hopefully I will be able to compare my personal experiences with the experiences other people have had. I feel I will catalyze my own healing, learning, and unlearning process if I receive feedback from other people along the course of my psycho-physical journey.

So, in short, this blog will be serving as

1. A physical & pyschological journal
2. A tool for reconciling the paradoxes of the "Postmodern Tao."
3. A platform for creating intergenerational, interfaith, & intereverything dialogue.

I think it goes without saying that if I feel the need to post something that falls outside of these intentions, I am going to go ahead and do so. More intentions can evolve organically along the way. For now, I hope I have made clear what this blog is about, and I hope you come back and read again. Feel free to leave constructive comments, or anything else you want. If I write something that anyone feels is absurd or offensive, I would appreciate being confronted. Confrontation doesn't have to be negative or competitive. We can discuss things like human beings, and learn a bit about ourselves and each other in the process! Hooray!

In the meantime, this is William, Will, Liam T., or however you know me, going to bed, hoping to wake up for sunrise on top of a Rocky Mountain foothill.